When I first started trading with D, the arrangement was a psychic reading for massage, because I am a massage therapist and I was interested in having psychic readings. Being able to look at the picture in a different way. I thought and I think she thought as well that this would be a wonderful opportunity. So it went.
Yesterday I was reading ‘Gifted’ by Lisa Andres, and some of what I was reading Echoes to ‘opening a channel’. Reading these books has helped me understand what happened with D, and it’s helping tremendously going forward. Its helped me tremendously to work through the fear and doubt that happened after the break up with D.
Sometimes I fear that I’m not on the correct path, and then I meet people that show that I’m not only on correct path but I’m doing what I’m meant to be. Or that I’m on the path to be what I am meant to be.
I don’t recall anything as a child that spoke to me that I was psychic other than doing massage. I do remember a moment sitting with my best friend Mara and picking up rocks and saying this is a spirit animal (and which one). I think that was in kindergarten or first grade in Dugway, Utah. I remember being at home in nature and, I don’t remember fearing nature Herself. I remember being played with by Faeries in Germany, losing my way, and hearing my family call for me, but being unable to find them. I don’t remember fearing the Fae after that experience. There was a fear but it wasn’t related That, it was related to the aftermath.
As I’m sitting here doing this blog, my paternal grandmother came to visit, and to say hi, and that everything was okay.
My little kitty just sat up and looked up at the wall and I asked who was there and that was the impression I got back.
When D and I had my first experience of being a medium, a psychic intuitive healer, I was like nah. But I don’t recall FEARING it. I didn’t doubt this gift for these gifts until the break up with D. What she said, texted, or typed was very hurtful for me. It caused me to doubt myself, to doubt my gifts, to doubt the people that were in my life.
I wonder sometimes why my experiences are different from those who are around me. I read these authors who have all sorts of Psychic experiences as far back as when they were young children. My roommate has had psychic experiences as far back as when she was a child. D has psychic experiences as far back as she was a child. And I wonder why I don’t remember anything, but I believe that there were instances other than what I remember as a Child.
We are all coming to our own on our own paths. Our paths are varied some are gnarly, some are straight, some are mixed, some are calm, some are stormy, some are painful, some are painless, some are both, but not all, or individually the same.
Our lessons and our journeys have shaped us to what we today. My journey my path isn’t D’s, isn’t my roommates, it is mine, my own. How I see the world is different. How I see my gifts is also different. The past that I meant to walk is different.
There are things that I need to talk Out, In order to let D go.
I’d like to start working with other people on the side so that my experiences as a psychic intuitive have a more diverse canvas. My psychic intuitiveness came consciously online while I was doing trades with D, and I would like a more diverse canvas so I can learn certain lessons that I need to learn. Whether it’s doing fairs, or getting together with friends, is the question.