This morning while I was listening to some Esther Hicks, I pulled Joyful Sunrise for my oracle card of the day. I like this deck, because it has different insights to what is going on, that wouldn’t normally come out of another deck. I’ve been doing a deck a week, I may up it to a deck per two weeks. I am not sure it depends on what strikes my choice.
Joyful Sunrise: Find time to help yourself or you will find you are alone when those you’ve helped have moved along. Finding time for yourself is really not one of your strong points. Although you vary your routine, it is often to find another job to do, and you are a master of multi-tasking. For life to be treasured you must discriminate between the work that is for you, and that which is for others. You must realize that others are not always able to provide you with what you need. You now must step back and say “I am Worth it” when looking to do something for yourself. If you do not take this step, you may find all others have gone and left you behind, because of all the help you gave them at your expense. I am ready for my own needs to formulate. I am worth the time and effort.
I had a client yesterday that is pretty happy in part because she is laying boundaries, and she is putting herself first. When I drew this card this morning, it was like a light bulb, and I thought about the last 14 years. I like to help people. I like to help them blossom. But it has come to my attention recently that I need to take care of myself. This isn’t so much a new message as it’s nudging me a bit more strongly.
There is this little voice that says stay and hang out here, but there is this larger voice that says it’s time to for YOU. I told my roommate about a month ago, that I was intending to move by the Summer of 2018. She wasn’t to happy to hear it, and wanted to know why. My response was that it is time. We haven’t talked on this topic since. While I know it would be easier for her to stay in the area with a roommate, I am not going to be that person. I am not quite sure how she will take it, but I need to be free to be me. If that makes any sense. I have had a couple roommates since I moved to Minnesota, and they’ve all blossomed. But it’s time for me to blossom, to learn, to grow, to be free to be me.
I have never lived alone by choice. I have always lived with some one. Whether they be a boyfriend or roommate, there has always been some one present. So this feels like a big step for me, but not. This feels like the right choice.