Wow: 7/28/2017

So this morning I went off to work, and I was feeling pretty meh.  I have been doing my SAVERS from the Miracle Morning Book for some time, and this morning I hadn’t done the A part of Savers.   Once I started doing them in my head, the attitude changed drastically, and I was better throughout my shift of work.   But there are a couple other things that are going through my mind.

Also realizing that I am indeed leaving the Massage industry for a couple years, and realizing that I am ready to let it go, was probably part of the my MEH attitude this morning.  I am also getting the feeling that I should start packing, since I am planning on moving within the upcoming year.  Not only that but intending to be moved by this time (July 2018) next year.   These are major decisions for me.  One I’ve worked in Massage for over 7 years, and this is the first time I will be moving out and living on my own.

For me it’s more than just moving out and living on my own.  It’s about owning my own power, standing in my own power, and taking control of my life.   As much as I would like to take some one with me, to be my buddy and pal, this is a journey I have to do on my own.   And as much as having a buddy and pal with me, it’s holding me back.  It’s holding me back, because I am usually waiting for them to catch up, or I am trying to help them rise up, and greet their potential.  Because in them I see greatness, and I don’t understand sometimes, that my journey and their journey are not the same.  They need to make their own way, in their own time.

So Wow, indeed.

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Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out of your life, although they will have that effect, they are how we manage our energy flows. ~ Jennifer Hoffman

Boundaries are so important both in the professional and personal realm. We don’t tend to think about it in the digital age, as we do in our personal age, and some don’t think about it at all. Boundaries are a healthy habit to have. It helps define the relationships you have, it helps keep relationships in certain boundaries, that you wish to maintain.

Some boundaries are learned and reinforced. Some boundaries are the foundations of relationships. Some boundaries are instinct. You have friend boundaries, work boundaries, business boundaries, family boundaries, different level of boundaries depending on the relationship, etc. There are boundaries throughout life, not just relationships. But boundaries dealing with time, money, housing, functions, material items, stuff, pets, etc.

What you will do for something or won’t do for something, is a boundary.
How much time you choose to spend on something or with some one can be seen as a boundary. Boundaries are important for your sanity, your health, and your business (employment).

For years, all the way from childhood, I could tell my Mother anything, and she would be my sounding board. But one night in Winter a couple years ago, I had dinner with my parents, and my Mother was triggered by something. I don’t remember what she said, but I do remember how it made me feel, and how long it took for me to recover from it. So from that point on, I made sure I had a buffer till I was sure I could address new boundaries in the relationship. When I did, I told her that I couldn’t tell her anything anymore, because I couldn’t risk the pain and hurt later when she used it against me. It hurt to do that, because she is my mother. But it was necessary for my physical and mental health.

One of my first Massage clients asked me out on date, and I said no. It actually made me feel very uncomfortable, because it was an unspoken boundary learned in school. Don’t date clients. It alarmed me to a point, and the dynamic of the relationship changed, because he continued to push. And we mutually didn’t continue seeing each other at all. Though he is still in an outer circle.

While going to school and working full time, one of my boundaries was nature time. Nature time came before homework.

I don’t friend everyone on under the sun on FB or Linked In. It’s important to me to have a connection of some sort whether in a professional network or some link on either site. But it’s also important the history of the relationship that was had with that individual. Example: I’m not going to friend a woman who made my life hell in high school…umm…no. I’m not going to friend the Married Guy that has no boundaries when flirting. I’m most likely not going to friend you when there isn’t any common denominators between us, or there was some sort of animosity between us. Bad form really. FB for a more personal connection, at least for me. LinkedIn is a more profession networking site, at least for me.

Boundaries can work, and if they don’t work, then new boundaries need to be made. My boundaries, and your boundaries are going be different.

Not What I was Originally Thinking about Journaling Today:

I’m not quite sure how to write this entry up, my mind is still scattered in the wind.

This morning I went to Aurapalooza. I was very happy to be able to make it this month. As I’ve been unable to make it in other months. I went to see two readers. Which both helped immensely with what’s been peculating around in my mind.

There are some things that need to heal, and some crying that needs to happen. One of my friends has said he has been doing a lot of crying lately, which is releasing a lot of pain and anger. I was ready to do some crying at the time. It was there, just waiting to roll into the surface, but once I let some of it go, went to leave, walked down the road, and arrived home, the feeling had passed. Though I know it’s still there. It’s not quite ready to be released.

A lot of it has to do with the relationship I have with my Mother. I fool myself sometimes to think that I’ve done some healing, and I have done some healing, but my relationship with my Mother has not healed. One thing that I know that hurts is the statement that one of my parents said. My mother saw me as a challenge. A challenge, not a daughter, A challenge. It hurts to think about it, let alone acknowledge it. But there’s a little girl in me that wonders why. Why was I never good enough to have the love that my sister may have gotten or my brother. What made me different? Why was I the challenge? There’s a book called Ancestral Karma, that I’ve seen that may help me release some of that, though I know that I myself can release it, no book needed. I have have the knowledge, I have the faith that I can heal, and eventually heal the rift between us. Because What I experienced, my mother has experienced, and what she has experienced, her mother experienced. I’m not sure where it started. But it started somewhere long before me.

Keening might help. It’s not the first time that some one has told me that I have some healing to do. I large part of me, is like “haven’t I don’t enough healing”. I’ve done a great deal of healing, but I have some more healing to do. *thud*

With Lisa, it was a check in. But I also had a mission of getting some Palo Santo Wood, something to help clear the air before and after a healing, and there was one bag left. I paid off my layaway with Holistic Arts. I then saw a second reader, which was not the original plan, but something said I needed to see her. She helped provide a greater insight to what was REALLY bugging me this morning. Where in my mind I was like money, but the heart of it was the pile of SHIT sitting in my dining room again. The lack of control I have over the situation dealing with it, and the feeling of powerlessness in the situation. Which echos again with my Mother. The universe is bringing lessons around so I can learn them, and until I do, the lessons will continue to be presented. *great*

Shocking Wonderful and An Gratefuls abound

How was everybody’s Monday?  Was it an odd day?  A surprising day?  Were the faeries playing with you?  Did  you hit a pot hole?  Did you act first before thinking things through?  Was the weather nice?  Did you Fur Pack or Pride tip over the water on the taxes?  Tax season is almost over, for those in the United States April 15th is Wednesday.

What Wonderful Thing happened today?   I found out that there’s going to be a family reunion just up the road in Eden Prairie for the Dwyer/Riley’s in my family tree.  This is awesome.  It’s on THIS side of the state line.   Which is really KEWL!

I had something shocking happen today, where I didn’t check all my bases, but it’s okay, because I’m owning it, and I’ll see if I can fix it later.  A bit late for it now.

What Grateful Things Happened today?

  1. I got a client today.
  2. I’m worrying less
  3. Car2Go is the bomb
  4. My cat is Mischievous and squirting her with the water bottle is hilarious.
  5. My wisdoms are growing again (not sure if that’s grateful or not)
  6. The weather is really great
  7. I figured out how to keep my audio books on my Itunes just the way I like them, so they load the way I want them on my Ipod.
  8. I got my taxes filed today (not paid, can’t afford that yet, but filed)
  9. My hair behaved today (I normally don’t mind it, but I’m growing it out for the first time since 3rd grade, I have really short hair)
  10. The Library has some more audio books for me.

Something wonderful laughing along the way and Little Grateful tears: March 25th

How was everybody’s hump day?  Are anxious for the weekend, are you enjoying the week?  Have you had problems?  Was it snowing? Did you lose the keys?

I had a very good interview, I don’t know that it’s what I’m looking for.  Though I would really like to get my foot in the door at Ikea.  I don’t think it’s where I want to be.  But It was a very successful visit.

What am I grateful for today?

1. My roommate (I got to use her car for transportation)
2. Friends for sounding boards
3. Family
4. The car
5. The kitties
6. Warm places
7. Good Fanfiction
8. School books
9. random thoughts
10. The library

A little odd today, but it’s a day off, tomorrow will be a day off, and they will fast become rare as I pick up a work position.

Good Night, Sleep tight, be safe.

Something Wonderful and Grateful things: March 18th

So how was your day?  Was it Wonderful?  Did something wonderful happen today?  What are you grateful for?

I’m a little late, but I’m on the tail end of a trade with one of my healers.  Massage for reading, or energy work, and healing all around.

Something Wonderful: An older woman let me on the bus first today.  It always astounds me the kindness of the people that ride the metro transit, as well as the people that just don’t care.

What am I grateful for today?

1. My family
2. My friend, Diane.
3. My roommate, Ann
4. My cat Mischief
5. My job
6. The fact that I have choices
7. Love
8. Divine
9. The Nature around me
10. Music

A little thoughtful today. Things are changing. Thoughts are brewing. Eclipse this week. Diane and I do trades once every 2 weeks. I get really thoughtful around then.

Hope everybody has a good night?
Something wonderful is happening. What are you going to be grateful for?

Something Wonderful and Ten Grateful Things: 03/14/2015

IMG_6487
Photograph Taken: 03/12/2015
Minnesota Landscape Arboretum
Conservatory

Something Wonderful:

The Guy that allowed me to cross even though he could have kept going. Thank you

Ten Grateful Things:

1. The Beautiful Day
2. The Unique Car I saw called the Smaug Mobile.
3. The Metro Transit System
4. The Library, and finding one on just one bus route … oooo
5. My family
6. Cereal
7. Bread
8. Ikea
9. The Cats…Tramore is sitting in my lap, dirty oldman he is.
10. Birkenstock Shoes for arch support.

Out and about again today. Rode the bus down to Washburn Library, it’s on the 4 route. No transfers needed. Which means I got to switch from Eden Prairie Library as default to Washburn. Which means I probably went a little overkill in my requests for items to borrow.

Ikea I went to get some little cheap 4×6 picture frames for some Cards I draw around New Moon and Seasonal changes. And Spring this season has both.

I didn’t do any cleaning today, maybe tomorrow. Thursday or Friday I’m definitely smudging.

Registered my Square today, which enables me to take credit cards.

Today was another good day.